A Defined Woman

I had a conversation recently and the subject of how many children I have came up.  Interestingly enough, for years we have been the subject of large family discrimination…I know, weird.  When it first happened I only had 5 at the time.  Now I have 10 so you can imagine what people say now J 

That being said, I want to take this time and space to thank my children for all they do to define me.  Lots of people go through life trying to figure out who they are and what their purpose is.  I have the luxury and honor of not having that burden.  My purpose is to be who I am which is my husband’s wife, my children’s mother, and me as a person.  I know, some of you cringed when I stated it in those terms.  There was a time when I might have too.

When I was young I heard many women say they had lost themselves and now they are just known as “Tom’s wife”, or “Jonnie or Sue’s mother”.  They had such disdain in their voice that I swore I would never fall into that pit.  Guess what?!  I didn’t fall into that pit!  I ran gloriously and willingly!  What bliss and freedom is to be had when you embrace it.

Again, I see the cringing.  Let me explain.  I was 16 when I met my husband, 17 when I left Marina Feliz and became Mrs. Orey Crounk.  I was 18 when I added the title of Maura’s mom, 20 for Deborah’s mom, 25 for Rebekah’s mom, 26 for Alexander’s mom, 27 for Marina’s mom, 29 for Keith’s mom (even though he and Alexander are the same age, I did not become “mom” to him til he was about 3), 41 for Eric’s mom, 46 for Gabriel and JadaLynn’s mom, 47 for Tristan’s mom.  Not to mention the wonderful title of Granna to Juliet, Seth, Breana, Bethanie, Dean, Eli and Abigail. 

I love all these titles.  They are like badges of honor and glory.  I have to ask the question, if I chose to disdain these titles and search for the “real me”, what would I find?  Who would I find?  Would I be happy or lonely?  Would I be caring or selfish?  Would I be immoral because I am always searching for that one thing or one person who “completes” me?  Hmmm, I wonder…..but not too hard.

The core of the issue is, I would not turn from these titles any more than I would turn from sustenance.  These titles define who I am, a life well lived, memories that fill my mind and heart, and a constant reminder of what blessings are placed in my life.  I do not try to “find myself” because I am never lost.  Attached to each of these titles is a beautiful person whom I love dearly and have a unique relationship individually with.  Life doesn’t get much better than that.

So, to my husband, children, and grandchildren, thank you for defining who I am as a person.  Thank you for making me important in your life.  Thank you for giving me a title to be proud of!  I love you!