A Defined Woman

I had a conversation recently and the subject of how many children I have came up.  Interestingly enough, for years we have been the subject of large family discrimination…I know, weird.  When it first happened I only had 5 at the time.  Now I have 10 so you can imagine what people say now J 

That being said, I want to take this time and space to thank my children for all they do to define me.  Lots of people go through life trying to figure out who they are and what their purpose is.  I have the luxury and honor of not having that burden.  My purpose is to be who I am which is my husband’s wife, my children’s mother, and me as a person.  I know, some of you cringed when I stated it in those terms.  There was a time when I might have too.

When I was young I heard many women say they had lost themselves and now they are just known as “Tom’s wife”, or “Jonnie or Sue’s mother”.  They had such disdain in their voice that I swore I would never fall into that pit.  Guess what?!  I didn’t fall into that pit!  I ran gloriously and willingly!  What bliss and freedom is to be had when you embrace it.

Again, I see the cringing.  Let me explain.  I was 16 when I met my husband, 17 when I left Marina Feliz and became Mrs. Orey Crounk.  I was 18 when I added the title of Maura’s mom, 20 for Deborah’s mom, 25 for Rebekah’s mom, 26 for Alexander’s mom, 27 for Marina’s mom, 29 for Keith’s mom (even though he and Alexander are the same age, I did not become “mom” to him til he was about 3), 41 for Eric’s mom, 46 for Gabriel and JadaLynn’s mom, 47 for Tristan’s mom.  Not to mention the wonderful title of Granna to Juliet, Seth, Breana, Bethanie, Dean, Eli and Abigail. 

I love all these titles.  They are like badges of honor and glory.  I have to ask the question, if I chose to disdain these titles and search for the “real me”, what would I find?  Who would I find?  Would I be happy or lonely?  Would I be caring or selfish?  Would I be immoral because I am always searching for that one thing or one person who “completes” me?  Hmmm, I wonder…..but not too hard.

The core of the issue is, I would not turn from these titles any more than I would turn from sustenance.  These titles define who I am, a life well lived, memories that fill my mind and heart, and a constant reminder of what blessings are placed in my life.  I do not try to “find myself” because I am never lost.  Attached to each of these titles is a beautiful person whom I love dearly and have a unique relationship individually with.  Life doesn’t get much better than that.

So, to my husband, children, and grandchildren, thank you for defining who I am as a person.  Thank you for making me important in your life.  Thank you for giving me a title to be proud of!  I love you!

Do you ever wish you could be something you are not?

If you answered "no" to that question then I say "you go Girl (or guy)!!". I, on the other hand, cannot answer no. I love my life and it is a good life. I like who I am. Sometimes, I just don't like "how" I am. There are things about me that I wish I could change. Things like how I handle money, or how I have no couth, or how I step on toes and feelings. It's not as if I enjoy doing ridiculous stuff, it just seems to come to me naturally...and I hate it. But yet I do it.

My saving grace is that my family loves me and accepts me. They don't always like me when I do things, and I can't blame them, but they love me because they know it is not something I do to be hurtful. I am grateful for them and for the forgiveness they extend me continously.

Thank you and I love you.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is my 30th wedding anniversary! Okay, it is Orey's too :) We are not doing anything sectacular today because we have enjoyed an anniversary "season" it seems. The highlight was when the kids threw a surprise anniversary party for us. That was amazing and so very wonderful! Thank you kids for that wonderful gift.

The special thing that I will do today to celebrate 30 years married to a wonderful man who just happens to be my soulmate, it to reflect on the events of all those years. Both bad and good. I will think of our families, our family we created together, the friends we have made and lost throughout the years, the decisions we made in life to get where we are and so forth. That should take the whole week or more :)

If you are reading this then you probably know us and are a part of our history. Thank you for being a part of something so wonderful that my greatest wish is that everyone would be able to experience this.

Here's to another 30 years times a billion or more!!!!!!!

I Can't Imagine

I can't imagine what it must feel like to have someone come up to you and tell you that you will lose your child. You are not a fit parent and it does not look good. Then hand you the baby to love on for an hour. How does that feel to hold that precious baby in your arms not knowing when the last time you will hold him will be. My heart aches for this mother. I love her and have much compassion for her. At the end of the hour, that someone literally had to remove the baby from your arms because you don't want to let him go. I wonder how different her life would be if she had the life she (and every child) truly deserves. On the other hand, how different my life would be....incomplete.

I pray for blessings of comfort and peace on her. I would like it if you would do the same. She needs the prayers....and the love. I am grateful she loves her children enough to want a better life for them. I am grateful she chose me to be their mother. Thank you L...with all my heart! I love you.

Life is Good!

There really isn't much more the say than that. Boring, but true.

The conculsion of "Stupid Games".

Yay! It is DONE! The issue is resolved. They finally took their ball and went home :)

I can's say I am overly pleased with their technique for this outcome but it is much better than what they thought was going to happen. I guess they did not figure they had a strong enough case so they went a different route that helps them save face and does not damage me in any way.

Thanks to those of you who supported me. I really appreciate it. Hopefully, I won't need that support again :)

My Hero

I will tell you a story about a young woman I know. She happens to work in an area that deals with little kids. She was telling me about a little boy whom she suspected was being abused, in some of the worst ways a little 4 year old can be. She said she kept hearing the other adults say "One more incident and I am turning them in" and stuff like that. Well, something happened that confirmed her suspicions, and yet again, the same old comments from the experienced adults of the group. She had enough. She wanted this baby to be safe and protected so she did what the other adults were afraid to do. She got involved. Suffice it to say the baby is in another home now and seems to be taken care of. She saw him today and he was not filthy and was not starving.

I admire this young lady! Thank you for being an example. That little boy does not know it yet, and my never know it, but you probably saved his life. If not literally, then at least a life from prison and worse. I want to be like you when I grow up.

You are my HERO!!!!