Perception, a person's reality

I have a subscription to a magazine called “The Good Old Days”. I really enjoy reading it. It makes one want to live in a time when things were simpler and people were kinder. That is the perception. If you think about it, people are reminiscing about times during WWII, the Korean war, the Vietnam war, before polio vaccines (and vaccines for many other childhood diseases), before civil rights, equal rights and many other less than desirable living situations. Yet, to listen to people talk, they were the best of time. This is perception. Accurate or not, it is their reality.

When I was a little girl there were 2 parents and 4 children living in a two bedroom small house. All of a sudden one day our mattresses were on the floor and there was psychedelic, sheer material covering the alcove where our “bed” was. In both rooms! Remember, this was the late 60’s, early 70’s so it was acceptable. We were excited! This was far out and cool!! That was our perception. The reality (which I found out in my adult life) was that we were so poor our parents had to sell our household stuff to make ends meet. Ahh, good times had by all? Probably not our parents.

The point being is that perception, right or wrong, is in the eye of the beholder. I always tell people there are way more than two sides to a story. Everyone has an opinion on an event or subject. My kids also know that the truth of a matter is what they believe to be true. Not what other people try to convince them is true. There was an incident that happened a little while back which included different perceptions from different people as to what really happened. I was asked why I do not “set the record straight and say what really happened”. Here is the deal, even though my opinion differs from others perception of what happened, it is not for me to tell them they are wrong. In their own mind and world I am sure they believe what they have said/written. I am not going to tell them they are lying. They simply have a different perception/take on the events. Just as they will never convince me I am wrong on how I view the events, I know I would never convince them they are wrong on how they view the events. So, I am busy living my life instead of busy trying to live other people’s lives by controlling their perceptions. Life is too short and I am too busy and I have bigger fish to fry to feed my large and wonderful family.

My daughter, Deborah, and her husband have a saying when they cannot agree on something and do not want to escalate into a spat, they “agree to disagree”. This way they show they respect the other person’s right to have a differing opinion even though they do not agree with it. I love that and have adopted it. I don’t have the need to try to convince others of my view. It is what it is. It is my truth and nothing or no one will change that unless I allow them too. This is my reality!