What a week!

What a week! It has been an incredibly emotional week. We brought a new baby into our family. It is an adopted child's biological sibling. As you know, we are already have two other of his siblings we are adopting. The baby was less than 2 days old when we brought him home. That was last Wednesday. On Tuesday, I found out that one of my friend's from DMV passed away. He was about a week away from turning 50. Also on Tuesday, my dad went into the hospital because we thought he was having a heart attack. We found out he had more than just that going on. However, he had some surgery and all is better now. On Thursday, I discovered there is a good probability that we will not be able to keep the baby we picked up. That breaks my heart but that is all part of the process. We have been back and forth to Reno more this last week and a half then I think we have been all of last year :)

I have an amazing support group that I could not have survived this week without. I appreciate Erica for her support of bringing food to my family during this time as well as running errands for me and offering to bring food and companionship to the hospital for me. You are an amazing woman and friend. Suzan, thank you for your love and support. I know I can count on your friendship always. Thank you Orey for making sure I have everything I need to be with my parents and sister and not have to worry about taking care of things at home. You have, and always will be, my rock. Thanks to Deborah, Tyler and Seth for your vigilant prayers for Tata. And also for offering to drive down to be here. Thanks Keithy for offering to drive home to see Gpa and to make sure I am fine. Thank you Maura for offering to come down for as long as I needed to help out at the house. I am glad it was not necessary because I know you have been feeling morning sickness (all day long) and you have a busy house yourself. Rebekah and Alexander, thank you for coming over to take care of the kids when dad and I could not be there. Marina, thank you so much! Dad and I could not have survived this week without your amazing help. I cannot express how much we appreciate it. From picking up kids, to making sure they were fed, staying up with the baby and so forth. I thank all of you for your prayers and continuous requests for updates.

Thanks to my mom for the lunch and dinner dates in the hospital cafeteria. Thanks to my sister Maura for remembering that I like cups of ice :)

Oh, and thanks to dad for getting better. That I really appreciate!

I knew I had a blessed life but times like these just reaffirms what the Lord has put in place in my life.

Life Changes

It is kind of ironic I think that a lot of my children have had friends who have "come out of the closet" to me. Why me? I don't know but I am grateful they trusted me with such a signficant event in their lives. I have had the responsibility of discussing how this will change their lives and some of the stuff, socially and personally, they will go through. One of the main topics they always bring up is that one or more of their parents are (or will) not talk to them. I tryto explain that the parents are going through a greiving process. When our children are brought to us, whether through birth, adoption, or other means; we have a vision of their future, you know, growing up, getting married, having kids, becoming _____, etc, etc;. But now that is not happening. The parents grieve or mourn the future and the child they thought they had. Then they begin to love the person they really to have. I can't say the parents always accept who the new person is because sometimes they cannot diferenciate the difference between the person and the lifestyle. And that is sad really.

I have discovered recently that this type of mourning or grieveing is across the board. It is not just for parents with kids coming out of the closet, it is for any parent who now faces a different future than the one they expected. I have the experience through the mentally handicapped challenges that my children are going through.

When our two youngest came to us we knew at least one of them was diagnosed with a mental and physical disability and we already had his future in mind. We knew our new daughter was probably affected too and somewhat altered what her future would be like too. However, we were not prepared to lump Eric, our 7 year old into that mix. We have had him since he was 3 month old. I already had his future "planned" out. On Tuesday, that ideal came to a crashing halt. that is the day we met with one of only 3 or 4 specialists in the State of Nevada who are trained to diagnose FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). Eric and out two other children share the same birth mother. During the course of our appointment she talked about how FAS will manifest itself (if not already diagnosed by facial features earlier) between the ages of 7 and 8 on up. She started telling us the classic behaviors of these children who had FAS. I would have sworn she just spent a day with Eric and was descrbing him to a T!!! She hit every nail on the head as far as behavior goes and what to watch for. Then she laid out what is potentially in store for him from this point on. If at 15 he wants to sleep at a friends house we need to ask ourselves if we would let a 7 year old do it. If the answer is no, then don't let him. From this point on, his reasoning age will start staying about half of what his chronological age is. If he wants to go to the movies that we need to sit 3 rows behind him, to make sure his phone number is in all of his clothing so when he is on the school bus and a kid nest to him says something like "you are fun, you should come over" my child with get off the bus with him, stuff like that. It is hard to imagine that he would be like that. I did not plan for that to happen. However, IF he follows the pattern this is what it has the very real potential to be. His body will continue to grow but his decision making skills will be that of a 7 to 10 year old. The doctor also said we will come across criticism in the guise of "parenting techniques" from others. she said we will hear stuff like "you smother that child", 'you need to give him/her space to learn to make decisions", "you need to stop being so controlling or bossy", "you should back off of the kid". She said that we will hear those things but the fact is you cannot do those things because that would be detrimental to your child. Like taking a little kid to the mall and letting him free by himself.

Anyway, Eric does not have a diagnosis yet, we have already started some of the process for assessment and could take up to a year for the full package to be done. However, based on what we have seen and what Dr. Kinman told us, I already know that we will be adjusting our outlook of Eric's future. I need to teach him to live in the world he is comfortable living in, and not the world I expected him to live in. Did I grieve? You betcha! But now I have a whole new future to plan and look forward too! Different from the other one but one just as equally important!

As one final point though, if you know anyone who is pregnant or trying to get pregnant, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell them not to drink AT ALL!!! Alcohol is a solvent and the fetus just marinates in the solvent and it destroys so many growth and neuro cells. It does not matter if it is one night of partying or a whole pregnancy of partying. Depending on what is forming at the point is what is being damaged.

Nothing Significant

This post has nothing significant in it but thought I should update my page.

So far 2011 has not been remarkable in any oustanding way. Just the standard way, which I am totally grateful for.

Today was a good day. I believe today is the first day since the beginning of the year that we have not had any one in the family ill due to flu or other malady of that sort. Alexander was sick because he stayed out and "partied" too much last night. Other than that we didn't have any puking, gagging, coughing (other than standard allergy stuff), diarrhea, crankiness, fever, rust to the urgent care, flooping, or any other of the myriad of things we have been experiencing the last two weeks. It was really nice. I actually got about an hour nap. My family always knows when I am over the line on tiredness because they take one look and I start tearing up or outright crying. That has been my way lately. But, I am good now and life is happy again.

I love my family very much. I forgot what it is like to be the mother of several young people who can't take care of themselves. Funny how a year ago I would just hop in the shower and think nothing of it. Now, I have to get a babysitter (one of the sibs since Orey and I seem to be on separate schedules and hardly see each other) just to take a shower. They are fewer now adays and totally appreciated when they happen! Just thought I would throw that TMI out there for you :)

WEll, in spite of all of that my 2011 is really off to a good start and I do appreciate the blessings that have come my way.

RIP 2010, Welcome 2011

Dear 2010,

Rest in Peace. You deserve it after working sooo hard. I say good riddance to the bad, thank you to the good, and here's to hope for the future!

2010 brought many wonderful events and people into the Crounk family life. We have truly been blessed and I cannot imagine it being even more so in 2011. However, the Lord has a way of of making me feel like each year that has just passed has been the best to date. I hope the pattern continues.

To you and yours, I hope so many good things happen to you that that you are so tickled pink that it makes you laugh so hard you wet your pants!

Best Christmas Present EVER!!

Okay, knowing me you are probably expecting some profound, sappy post about some wonderful, emotional present that embodies spirit and happiness. Well, this is not it.

I got plenty of Christmas presents this year like that such as all of my wonderful kids home for an early celebration. However, one of the BEST presents of the season is not even one that was given to me! It was given to Gabriel. He got a little personal "pup" tent that is shaped like a puppy dog. He loves it so much that we put it on his bed for a night to let him sleep in it...for fun. An amazing thing happened, he slept through the whole night AND did not wake up until late morning. We thought it might be a fluke because he had not been feeling well. So, we kept the tent up. Amazingly, this has been the pattern every night since then! I am soooooo excited! For anyone who does not know, Gabriel does not sleep very well and will get up several time during the night and walk around or get his sister up or wake us up. It is a symptom of his disability. So, needless to say, this has truly been wonderful, and the best part is that he seems to be more rested and not so emotional throughout the day.

I would have to say this constitutes as one of the Best Christmas Presents EVER in my book. Now, let's hope the pattern continues :)

Don't leave home without it!!

Marina and I went to Las Vegas on Monday. I had some stuff at work I needed to take care of so I worked for about 5 or 6 hours and then we headed out. I ran home and unloaded the vehicle because we always have junk..uh, I mean stuff, that needs to be taken out of the cars. I could have sworn that I left my purse in the car because we were going to leave really soon. Well, as luck would have it, I did NOT leave my purse in the car and did not find out until we were about 200 miles away from home when I stopped to get gas. That is when I found out that I was sans purse. Lucky for me, I had filled the tank up before leaving town and had put the ATM card in my coat pocket instead of my purse. However, I did not have any ID with me and we needed to check into a hotel. That would not have been a big deal because Marina and I have the same name, however, you have to be 21 to check in. I also left my cell phone with my purse. This was sooo going down hill. The final problem was that I had to have a hold put on my ATM card that would have normally been put on my credit card....if I had my purse.

It all turned out fine though. We got to LV, I realized I had my Prison employee ID (thank goodness I went to work that morning because I did not plan too) so was able to check in, my parents were in LV so they gave me some emergency money until the hold was taken off my debit card plus a little something for fun, Orey worked his magic and came up with an emergency stash of money for gas for the trip home. Marina and I got to hang out together and enjoy each other's company. We had dinner with my parents, ran into an ex-client of mine who is doing REALLY great right now with a new job and car, and generally had a good time. The weather was awesome too since it was rainy and foggy which is some of my favorite patterns.

Anyway, the moral of the story is to make sure you have what you NEED when you leave on a trip! Either that or have an awesome support system in place :)

When is Christmas exactly?

Last week we had Christmas! Yepperoo, you heard correctly, we celebrated Christmas on the 5th of December. All of my kids were home for the holiday so we had the Mexican Christmas with a billion kids, generations of family, good friends, lots of tamales and other Mexican food, all wrapped up in a ton of love!

I learned many, many years ago that Christmas is not a day, it is a time. A time for family and love. So over the years I think we have celebrated Christmas on the calendar day just as many times as we have celebrated it on a non-traditional day. However, we always have fun. Of course, Santa always comes in the night of December 24th.

Whatever day you are celebrating the "Reason for the Season", the birth of the Christ Child, I hope your heart is filled with love and hope.

Merry Christmas!